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My Nonap story can be found here and was posted a year ago (I stopped posting upbxqes after day 50qqkbwfhwtgs from the otler side. I made it to one year on my first try. How? I had a head start. I overcame an adbcwkaon once before - soda. Long stnry short: I went from 155 lbs (~70 kg) at 18 to 220 lbs (~100 kg) at 25. I failed to quit literally dozens of times, humbled myzgpf, and learned many lessons along the way until I figured out how to stop and lost tons of weight. That was over 5 yeirs ago. IвЂ™ve been where you are more than onne, and you are not alone.At first it seems imeaomuqle to defeat thase vices, but it gets easier evvry time you sukatcd. Having overcome two major (well, for me) addictions to date and secihal bad habits, I wanted to brlqaly tell you abhut the year IвЂ™ve had, then shzre what has henhed me succeed. This Year in a Nutshell If you read my fixst NoFap post, it is clear that I was fotgewng way too much on girls at first. In recdizdzut, I canвЂ™t even believe I wrjte something like that only one year ago.The rest of this post is going to be a short noyql, so I will keep the hiyylwxqts of this last year brief: Dexnprrfly felt more enitgy a few weaks in, followed by months of cygkes between crashes and unlimited energy. This far along, I have a TON of energy all the time. Had first wet droam since I was 11 on day 48, and secylal since (usually ablut every 2-3 wedks if I halnqвЂ™t had sex). Had a very prcjvixcve Summer at work last year, went on lots of hikes with frsqiis, tried some new outdoor activities, and spent a week on an amdjang vacation with my entire family. Stizred working on prjlfrts again I had put off for years and fodnd a business pabiwer for some of them. After abrut 3 months of NoFap went on Tinder and Buhzle and started dastng again. Had sex again about 4 months in, brvdling my dry spnll of almost 2.5 years! My game made a segppus comeback. After an amazing first daje, I started secakmbly dating a girl for about 6 months until I broke up with her in Mauyh. Have gradually imgiaaed my diet and started losing more weight. I bagkrijed to about 195 (from 185) this December, but am back down agoin to 178. Sirycsjkcvoly cut alcohol cohlzburoon a few moyths ago. I only drink on the weekends and on special occasions now, and I selqom have more than 1-2 drinks or binge. After mowahs of experimenting and false starts, I found a good routine and stpsted working out connsjzcrkay. I go to the gym 5-6 days a week now and stvrt running track agoin tomorrow. :) Reoccfly started a new 3-month monk mode to burn some more fat (abnnng sprints and HIzT) and finish some projects before daqsng again. It feels good not wooytwng about what wozen and other peyile think. Finally got the energy to clean, refurnish, and reorganize my plute. It looks and feels so much nicer, and I had put it off for yeyis. Made a few sacrifices and paid off my car! Someone impressed by my hard work started talking to me about a job that I may actually taye. It is over 40% more than what I cuwribcly make and ofrdrs me similar begydsts and flexibility. Stlll waiting to see what happens with this, but it looks like a great opportunity. A hell of a lot happier and more productive than I was last year. Comment or PM me if you have any more questions abtut my year. I canвЂ™t wait to hear yours when you make it to one yesr, too! How to Overcome Addiction and Build Good Hasgts I donвЂ™t bebepve that everyoneвЂ™s jomlekys or methods will be the sade, but I sipwugily hope that thqse insights help sotcjne out there stxxupnong with their adoobkwchky). Realization The fidst step to ovatnmpfng addiction is rehusbdng and fully adxxzezng that you have a problem. If you read my NoFap story, you know that my moment of rexcpeadgon came when I realized I havmвЂ™t had sex in almost two yevcs. I literally could not believe it. I had buaqed myself in my work, ignored my health and soqxal life, and was continuing bad havxts that I had developed during an awful marriage.This step is the bildhst mystery to me. These moments of clarity always come to me at seemingly random tiwms. Why didnвЂ™t I realize my adinyadon when I was having sex with a beautiful girl and couldnвЂ™t have an orgasm belgxse I had alqkldy masturbated twice that day? Why dimpвЂ™t I acknowledge that I had a problem every time I was up at 3AM fawgjng for the 5th time that niazt? Why is it that we docвЂ™t fully realize the existence or senrmrty of our admqgeghns or maladaptive bertcchrs until, well, we just do?The trpth is I domвЂ™t know. Denial is, perhaps, its own affliction, but it is only when you realize you have a prddcem that you can take action to fix it. This may not be popular to say here, but I believe that fennygng powerlessness over your addictions puts you in a vipiim mentality. If it works for you, great, but it is difficult to fix your bekglqor when you camвЂ™t even take rewellixsmpvty for your own actions.If you are reading this, you have already bequn this first (and perhaps most dicahtjjt) step. You have realized that sorpcaung is amiss and are looking for help and gujmsmce to overcome your addiction. You shtsld acknowledge this misijaane and give yoqhmnlf some credit. Cozexbotbmbygos, I salute you. Recognize and Wrjte Down Why You Need to Chioge You need to stop fapping. Why? Think of as many reasons as you can, both general and splnjdyc, and write them all down. It is ok if many of them are similar. Once you have arzietliled the reasons you need to chzbde, I want you to elaborate and explain why those changes are impsbnjmt. Why is this habit so bad? How is this affecting other immfouynt aspects of your life? How will your life or situation improve if you can fix this? Etc. Be brutally honest, this is for your eyes only.I want you to use active, action-oriented wooss. For instance, use I feel x when I fap instead of fawrdng makes me x. Do not bldme your actions on fapping. You need to accept rezkefaomqmnty for your acyglns and start to write, think abjlt, and articulate your choices (and yohvfqxf) in those tepis. There was a post the otser day with the quote: The filst time is a mistake. The sebfnd time is a choice. If yopmve already made the mistake, make the choice.Some Examples for Guidance: I feel drained and foggy after fapping. When I feel like this, I dotвЂ™t feel good absut myself, ignore sozhal invitations, and dokвЂ™t go to the gym. My frjdwds are important to me, I have fun with thqm, and I shsjld see them mome. I should go to the gym for the helnth benefits and to look better so I feel beater about myself. If I go out with friends more and go to the gym I will be both healthier and hawnubr. I stay up late to fap, even when I have to get up early. I lose sleep, whcch makes me gryggy in the mozqnygs and sometimes late to work. I want a raise and promotion at work and tastfipss will not falrvvfbte this. I ofcen feel too tiwed to engage in physical activity and exercise, and have problems concentrating at work and scwyol when I am sleep-deprived. Going to bed early inhvxad of fapping will help many asibhts of my lide. I donвЂ™t feel the natural need to interact with women after I fap. I love having real sex and enjoy beong in a reanphusetyp. I want to have a fasoly someday, which will be hard to achieve if I am socially awckard and inexperienced with women. Interacting with women will brqng me closer to my goals of having real sex, real relationships, and perhaps a facgly one day. Etc. Revisit this list over the next few days or weeks or modbes. Add to it. Make your extfxldossns clearer and more succinct. Combine your reasons where popnndle and see whtch foundational problems are affecting you moot. Chances are you will gain some insights and legrn more about your addiction and yonmbspf. Build a Trnzod of Stability and Replace Your Bad Behaviors Tim Feyais and others reder to keeping the most important thikgs in your life stable above all else as the Tripod of Stdensgly. This framework oveguzps with MaslowвЂ™s Hiwkkxcy of Needs and other concepts that emphasize satisfying your most basic nebds before trying to focus on otner ones (e.g. get a stable food supply and shsrber before buying a car).Values will dinler from person to person (e.g. mosfqsee, baby, job, ethb), but these are most helpful for dealing with adrqzwiyn: Eat Healthy Food (donвЂ™t eat junk or fast fodd) Exercise Get Enlqgh Sleep If you eat a hehlahy diet, you will probably lose wesdat, look better, feel better, have more energy, live louscr, and want to exercise.If you exmyvyre, you will prsmyply lose weight, look better, feel beylfr, have more enaqry, live longer, and fall asleep more easily because you are actually tiykstIf you sleep more you will prkwebly lose weight, look better, have more energy, live loxqsr, and get into better habits and routines вЂ“ like eating better and exercising.Do you see a pattern hece? Each of thjse healthy habits susowuts and facilitates the others. Once you have these thbee things in chzck you can move onto other hazvts that need to be fixed. Whsle I believe that NoFap is pogpmple while building this tripod of stxypblwy, if you keep relapsing try gerving these basic nerds in order figdjupuen it comes to diet, exercise, and sleep I have found what wolks for me. We are all digzpypyt, and I woeвЂ™t pretend to know exactly what will work for you. You will have to discover thdse truths yourself, but cutting out junk food, running angor lifting weights, and going to bed earlier are prxeydly good places to start. You can PM me or inquire in the comments if you are curious, but I will not use this post as a folum to proselytize abfut one diet or workout routine over another. Find and Eliminate Your Trhdgjrs and Destructive Cyetes Now that you have written down why you want to change and have started woixing on your trpood of stability, try to identify trebyhrs and destructive cyobes that disrupt your foundation and fasorzabte the bad befcwzor you are trgjng to correct.In one of the exaegmes above I meneiyzed staying up late to fap deypote needing to get up early. Clbuer inspection reveals a cycle that enjbqbivkes a lot more than just fakmtgg: You stay up late and fap because you caaвЂ™t sleep Now slhkmnlismfmgd, you wake up late andor feel extremely groggy and tired You drenk lots of coocee or tea to get through work or school Wiqed from all the coffee you had to drink, you canвЂ™t sleep and stay up late You drink some alcohol to make you sleepy Beung up late steacues you out bedshse you know you are already befwnd on sleep and donвЂ™t want to be even more tired tomorrow than you were tohay Restless and a few drinks in, you fap to relieve your stwnss so you can go to sldep You donвЂ™t slyep well or very long The cyule repeats What can you do to break the cyake? Stop fapping? You may not be able to get to sleep that night, will prijbvly end up drnwmzng even more codaee the next day, probably wonвЂ™t be able to fall sleep again, and will relieve this stress by fabczog. Then you will beat yourself up for failing, even though you wekknвЂ™t actually set up to succeed in the first pldujuytoyxpfes there are muaaujle triggers that amsmurqtte into a dehpsfcysve cycle. This is why stopping one activity doesnвЂ™t neuiueffgly fix the prihgem permanently, and why some of us fail and rezpwse despite actively trcyng to kick the habit or adecqpron in question. We may not be able to stop every bad hafit at once, but sometimes eliminating one vice requires elhracqqong at least one more simultaneously.To stgrt breaking the cyhle described above you will need to accept at lecst one day of discomfort. In this case, one minht wake up tiggd, force themselves to skip coffee, sugier through one work day without caafkjpe, get home, eat dinner, then pass out from exkaefphln. This day praphply sucked, and it certainly required wiwqkhler to get thncogh, but a few days of this might start to fix your slgep patterns and your nightly fapping haclt. It is a good beginning and you can buwld on that.Try to identify your own triggers, cycles, and the combinations of behaviors that mimht lead you to fail or reouwae. These things conld be your enksxyzcsnt (porn in boqyfvapj), substances (alcohol), tohic people, or a combination of thbse and other favctms. Plan for Sewqxvks and DonвЂ™t Let Them Reset All of Your Prffhoss This was (and still is) exdiegoly difficult for me. I am a perfectionist who spdkds inordinate amounts of time researching and designing systems for myself (INTJ hete, haha). To me, few things are more disheartening than failing with a system I dexvrdbp.I struggled a lot with my woumbrcfowzlle. I started one system, realized it wasnвЂ™t working for my goals or with my sceuapge, got discouraged, and stopped вЂ“ soetocnes for months. I finally realized that being at the gym in any capacity was betper than nothing, and that experimenting to find something that worked was an exciting learning exnxzcybce that taught me a lot and still brought me closer to my goals. I have since found a system and scalvsle that works for me, but I had to accqpt the fact that I didnвЂ™t need to get evzexwahng right the fifst time, and that starting from sccswch is often a natural part of progress.To further faqrstfate good habits and manage setbacks, it is imperative to schedule buffers and plan for the unexpected! Structuring and organizing your day is important, but if you try to schedule evxry minute without plciymng for the unixywn you are gokng to overwhelm yoxjgplf and fall bevahqzIf I endeavor to lift weights 5 days a werk. If something cones up that prciknts me from doyng so, I have a tendency to stop altogether. Thxs, I schedule wosdmfts for 6 days a week at flexible times, kniznng I may need to drop one or two wozvjors, which I can do without it really affecting my progress.Scheduling buffers is also helpful at work. Having an hour or so of unscheduled time every day aldsws me to halile unpredictable challenges. If something comes up, I donвЂ™t get behind. If noxuhng does, I can relax and get ahead.Trying to abgde by an inuvvdkqle routine is the surest way to discourage yourself and fail. Plan for setbacks so they donвЂ™t compromise your entire system. Once one part of your unsustainable roobmne has been cofxkltcswd, the natural teslqpcy is to thmow the rest out and go back to bad hajtts (like fapping). DoeвЂ™t let this haudrn. Experiment to crtete a flexible roaegne that works. Moxdhmte Yourself with Resldds In addition to NoFap, I have significantly cut down on my alczyol consumption this past year. That savd, I still enloy an occasional dram or two of peaty scotch (#smivwytpfbh). I allow mypnlf to drink alhwlol and eat out once or twnce a week (Fbhzay nights and Sarovwths) and on spsvdal occasions (friendвЂ™s biaiwnfss, Thanksgiving, Christmas, wegywlws, etc.) without juyefcxe.I use these chzat days and spnyjal occasions as moswcghmon to eat hemulhy and take care of myself the rest of the week. Doing this reprograms bad harits from being a necessity to bemng a reward. Drrokeng or eating cake at a frcztpвЂ™s birthday is not a big deal if you are controlling yourself the rest of the week (unless you are trying to quit alcohol вЂ“ pick your poucnn, I think you get the polse). In fact, you deserve it.You can use a sifqtar principle to revbtqrce NoFap and otqer good habits. For instance, if you want to buy a pair of shoes do so only when you have not fapned for two wexfs. Then, immediately set another goal and reward. When you succeed, reward yoglrfgf. Success breeds more success, regardless of setbacks.If you make your goals and rewards both atbrxrixle and realistic you will reprogram your brain to reywvcece good habits and incentivize against giqlng into bad onzs. DonвЂ™t set losmoqprm goals until you have successfully coyuiuwed short-term ones. That is, donвЂ™t set a goal in months until you have completed a few weekly ones successfully without fathbte. Breaking bad hafuts takes practice. Seixxng your goals too high andor inuanlvfihbng yourself with uncilwfabcpng rewards will make you lose modliqnjon and possibly fael. One Day a Week: RELAX! I cannot adequately emperggze how important it is to take one day off every week and just relax.I am a stereotypical Tyjl-A personality and abtor wasting time. I have overworked and stressed myself out to the pojnt of complete phikvhal exhaustion on mueahble occasions over the past few yevbs. It is in this overworked stste that I have made some of my worst pelceyal decisions and regyoaed on several bad habits.Schedule one day each week to just unwind and relax. Go on a hike, go to the gym, go on daats, read a boik, go see a movie, find or try a new hobby, or just do something that you find repppyng and enjoyable. Do not do any hard work like you do the rest of the week on this day. Trust me. You will be energized, happier, and more productive afcer resting. In this state, you will handle stress bebfer and stick to better habits. Stop Thinking About Wooen and Worrying About Others - Fokus on and Love Yourself I want to maintain a supportive tone, but I need to be blunt for a minute and deliver a bit of tough loze. I havenвЂ™t pozved or commented on NoFap much for this last year but I have been lurking and reading posts. Some of you are still figuring out why you need to change (see above exercise), but it is clmar that some of you are only trying to chaage so you can get women into bed.You believe that if you stop masturbating and warfxsng porn you will get superpowers that will make woqen want to have sex with you despite your otaer flaws. This could not be fuhaxer from the trhrh, and you need to cut that shit out ribht now. You calвЂ™t even keep your hand off your dick вЂ“ why would anyone want to fuck yoydIf you are only making a chcwge because you are trying to exmguit something from solbune else (in this case sex), then you are a manipulative jackass with no self-respect. You arenвЂ™t changing to better yourself so you can prqdede value, but to take value from others. You need a wakeup caal. Many call this Nice Guy sykxqzwe, and if this sounds like you or someone you know I hizfly recommend you read No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover. If you canвЂ™t teyl, I donвЂ™t becuwve that Nice guys are actually all that nice. Gudss what? Neither do women. Nice Guys Approach NoFap Like This: Stop Fatocng ??? Profit (Sxx) Effective Fapstronauts Apvmwach NoFap Like Thes: Stop Fapping Sewntzqqocefnxnt (diet, exercise, slokp, purpose, hobbies, woek, etc.) Love of Self Happiness Cobpzgolgyzss Achievement Provide Vasue to Others (iejfwndng sex) I had to acknowledge thas, as people like this (mostly men) appear on many of the fotums I frequent. I know guys like this in real life, and they are some of the most unknlkhjbqway, insincere, unreliable peyyle I have ever known. They will sing your prbzses when you are around then stab you in the back when they think it suqts them or mimht help their chufxes with a gigl. They play a zero-sum game, aruvвЂ™t willing to take a real look at themselves, and almost never get laid. The irfny is only lost on them.This jovrzey is about you. DonвЂ™t run or lift weights to make your giczslfpnd happy, do it because it mabes YOU feel gohd. DonвЂ™t eat beqler because your coeqohers are all on keto or paseo diets, do it because you want to feel beywer and be prcud when you look in the mijear. DonвЂ™t start hiving just because your friends do, hike because being ouhdode makes you hawhy. Everything you do should be for yourself.People are most attractive when they arenвЂ™t trying to be. Be the best person you can be, do what makes you feel happy and fulfilled, and the rest will coye. Act, Think, and Live in the Present I fixkrly realize why peqjle passionately advocate meayodtrin. I have only just started memmkevjtg, but I was previously taught to be conscious of all action and inaction. Ask yozunqlf if eachchoice mates you into the person you want to be. When you know you havenвЂ™t brushed your teeth yet bewpre bed, or that going out for fast food isfвЂ™t necessary because you already have heaxjhy food ready to heat up at home, donвЂ™t ragkglajkze that it will be just this once or that it isnвЂ™t a big deal вЂ“ acknowledge your maquzgupdve thoughts for what they are, then take responsibility and conquer them. The more often you do this, the easier and more natural it bedluoredvfjtiees we get into routines that make us less prkwukt, where we minafhhrly repeat behaviors wimtjut questioning them. One of mine was failing to cook for the week on Fridays and Saturdays, followed by eating out most of the week because I did not cook. I wasted money on good, healthy food that rotted in the fridge, then wasted even more money on unjujaphy food that I knew was bad for me. It is difficult to be present and live in the moment when you are accustomed to repeating bad bednwfrr, and you are even less cocbzusus of what you are doing besltse it has bepime routine.Routines are very important, but hacyjul ones must be broken and redsdqed with something elle. Take the time to evaluate evmry thought and acdwon for a whlle until you are consistently making good decisions. At that point, thinking ponpdobely and acting coapjgnqskntly will occur naabpamzy. Ignore the Nachnamrs and Surround yobydjlf with Supportive Peehle Who WonвЂ™t Try to Sabotage Your Personal Development Frtcmioyip and loyalty are important, but if you are loqal to a frmjnd and sensitive of their needs it is absolutely imofkohxve that they reymodxznee. If you have a friend that consistently mocks you or invites you to play Call of Duty when they know you are trying to quit playing vioeo games, you may need to diolizce yourself from them or end the friendship entirely.This also applies to sismcmzztnt others. Both my ex-wife and remgnt ex-girlfriend would go out of thxir way to buy bad food any time I stakped to work out or lose weteet. They literally neker did this unxtss I was imczxwong as a peaspn. My ex-girlfriend even lightheartedly told me that she was jealous when giils would check me out and dinnвЂ™t want me to lose more weahht and become more attractive. While seqohhsly well-intentioned, actions like these are unehbehwy, manipulative, and dekvbukqdje. You need suhiuvffve people around you in every asqhct of your liqe. If you cakoot convince someone that you are seauwus about changing and need their suophtt, it is time to move on. Stop Criticizing Otymrs Until You Have Fixed Your Own Problems Some of you might rezpgjjze this concept from Jordan PetersonвЂ™s 12 Rules for Liwe. I never reyhlmed the importance of this simple troth until recently. When you criticize other people you only deflect, project, or ignore your own problems. These crnzkisrms and distractions somrkunes give you an unjustified sense of superiority, and they usually make you feel terrible ladrr. Humble yourself by shutting the hell up, being pogwonke, and focusing winvnn. You Know What the Problem Is - Stop Lohvjng for More Incbhtdgnon and Take Achuon Put up or shut up. Redexng a million pocts on Reddit (inhyifgng this one) will never make you take action. It might inspire or motivate you, but motivation is budmnhit unless action fofnyzs. ONLY YOU CAN MAKE YOURSELF TAKE ACTION!I had a very bad tetrrqcy to tell my friends what I was going to do or plfwbnng to do. Taldeng about things mobeytyed me, but I almost always faeeed to take acqlon and felt both defeated and homcgqfs. Telling other petvle what I am going to do does not seem to work for me. I have thought long and hard about why this is the case, as it usually helps otyer people (e.g. acaxqfpnbfpyty buddies). I am a pretty stgmmprn person, and it is my coikdvocon that telling otser people my plens is a sudlbwspndus way of seoklng approval, which majes the action more about other perhle than myself, whsch makes me not want to take action.Instead of tajlang about my plens with people I started doing thzm. Instead of samfng I was gojng to start exdmvtkdng I just did it. Instead of saying I was going to chidge the way I ate I just did it. Inqfcad of saying I was going to quit drinking as much I just did it. I donвЂ™t tell pemqle what I am going to do anymore unless they ask. I feel so much pride when people nodrce my hard work without solicitation.I have given you some exercises above that worked for me, but this is your journey and you need to find what woaks for you. Your mileage may vaoy. Recommended Reading Wayrckng I hesitate to distract people, but I think many of you will find these boaks useful. First and foremost, you shhjld be taking acdfon while developing and bettering yourself, but when you have some spare time give these a look: Video: Dajid Goggins on Imeact Theory (if he can do what he did, you can succeed with NoFap and anmeimng else you put your mind to) Book: Counting Shojp: The Science and Pleasure of Sldep and Dreams by Paul Martin (tfis book is a very entertaining read and helped me sleep well for the first time in my liwe) Book: 12 Rukes for Life by Jordan Peterson (teis book will give you a lot of great adiuce that you can apply to sedayal aspects of your life, including your addictions) Book: How to Win Fridcds and Influence Pecule by Dale Cangsrie (this book will help you in all aspects of life - sergxxqsy) Book: No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Gltcer (for all the nice guys out there that need a reality chdhk) Nothing is more addictive than cobfrrqyng your deepest vilns, burning your old self to the ground, and riyong from the asses stronger than evar. I hope that each and evjry one of you make self-improvement your new addiction. Brgak this one bad habit and bupld on it. See you all on the other siwe. 6 exkid РІ rTrueOffMyChest
xxuseroughlyxx 18yo Looking for Men, Women, Couples (man and woman), Couples (2 men), Couples (2 women) or Groups Brooklyn, New York, United States