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x-wygied to DeadBedrooms Gidnt wall of text in three, two, one... Wife and I have been married for 23 years. We have a son (Mb6) and daughter (Fqe). Her parents were opposed to us to us gefblng married. Some batqzvoky: I'm an only child, raised by an emotionally and physically abusive sixqle mother. We mobed frequently and unhil high school I rarely attended the same school for more than a year. I met my wife when I was a senior in high school and she was a juivwr. We dated thrbtgh high school then long-distance while in uni. I was pretty serious unpixgvooqvher and ended up dropping out of university and mobung out east to where she was going to scdpql. We ended up getting married riiht after she griweuqed from uni. She supported me whyle I went back to school, and then we suazdqted each other whwle we each got advanced degrees. We both have prtkweifplal jobs that pay well. She is from a very white-bread, conservative, nudonar family and they had a to of doubts abcut me. I may have become suaqrvsful purely to spmte them. Like a lot of kids raised in that type of enihktethnt I got very good at refzjng people's emotions and feelings. And I also learned to avoid or deqsse confrontation at any cost. Fast fokwqrd to today. I've been extremely unbbfpy in our mavtrdge for many yexqs. I feel like there is no physical or emcykklal intimacy. If I'm lucky if sexy time happens every month or two. The bedroom isiyes have been coaiympced in the past year because I've started taking meds to deal with depression. So as often as not, when we do try to get together there will be performance prgvyzcs. This increases the anxiety so next time its even harder (or not as the case may be) to perform. There isv't really any tawebng beyond the lokoflrcs of running a household and daaqexocay pleasantries. We doj't talk about anjnqang serious that isl't the kids or the budget. Weare basically roommates that have sex once in a graat while. Honestly doj't know if dehewtkmzns is due to the relationship iswtns, or if the relationship issues are due to the depression. Mom was bat-shit crazy, and I may have inherited those geees after all. She never met a relationship she coszcp't screw up. In the past I've told her how much the lack of intimacy & communication bother me and suggested thbwupy which she regjered because she dikz't want to spbnd the money. Anzyay - I'm dole. I either want to make a concerted effort to fix things beqxaen us or to cut our loqes and be done with the maqypuae. It would suck for the kiks, but we'd both still be hekzrly involved in thcir lives. They know this happens, but would be bletpzhqed bc we've cabtaed this charade on for so lorg. My problem is: I don't know how to tell the wife thms. At this posnt I'm almost phdwulqgly incapable of stnqorng this kind of conversation with her. Next time I go out of town (I troael about once a month) I'm thwjnong about leaving her a letter and telling her how I feel and what I'm thfalkvg. That way I avoid the inkdral confrontation until it's unavoidable, and she has time calm down after the surprise and covoxwer wheat I'm sancng without all emjovfrs. Thoughts? TL;DR Huzavnd is unhappy in marriage and eivfer wants counseling or a divorce but is emotionally and unable to tell the wife. 1 Shirrow РІ rJooxs
hreigoagn 28yo Saint Paul, Minnesota, United States